The Patriot Post® · 9 Exciting New Dye-Free Foods Coming in the Wake of RFK's Ban
With RFK Jr.‘s artificial dye ban being pushed into effect as soon as possible, corporations were sent scrambling to bring their products into compliance, resulting in a slew of new food items that will be hitting store shelves near you.
The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of artificial dye-free food products you’ll be seeing soon:
Taupe Charms: Taupe hearts! Taupe stars! Taupe moons! Taupe clovers! Taupe diamonds! Taupe horseshoes!
Grayburst fruit chews: Taste the grayscale!
Mountain Dew Code Beige: Closing your eyes while you drink it will make it more palatable.
Swedish Fish: No change — the majestic Swedish Fish gets its red color from thousands of years of adaptation while migrating across the icy Scandinavian waterways.
Crystal Pepsi: Back by popular(?) demand!
Ambiguously colored velvet cake: The favorite dessert of dozens of people, now even less appealing.
“Oops! All Browns!” M&Ms: Expect far less diversity among your candy-coated chocolates.
Dour Patch Kids: Though far less colorful, they’ll still do a great job of rotting your teeth.
Drank: This beloved opioid concoction will be just as potent, even without the purple.
All the flavors you know and love, only far less vibrant and cancer-causing.
From our friends at The Babylon Bee.